Jan 12, 2012
Bye "Baby Boy"...Hello, BIG BOY, MJ!!
I've been a little concerned about what kind of boy he'll be since he was (at the time) the only boy in our house. I even remember a sweet conversation my father had with me. He lovingly made sure that I knew to NOT have his grandson turn out as a softie due to being around a bunch of girls!! LOL I confess, I would get nervous as I would see him desiring to do things with his sister and I was constantly praying and making sure I'd kept him away from being too soft (some people may not understand what "soft" means. But, I trust some understand. LOL). So, when we were expecting Zech, I was VERY happy to know that he wasn't going to be the only boy.
When Zech turned a year old, I was hoping to see some bonding starting to happen between MJ and him. I figured since Zech had started to walk, then him and MJ could start becoming hanging buddies...NOT! MJ showed NO INTEREST in his little brother, he just wanted to be with his sisters.
Well, two years later, starting preschool, being in a different sunday school class, co-op, and now a 2 year old little brother, THINGS HAS CHANGED!! LOL I'm not sure if I should rejoice or CRY!! LOL I'm starting to see a little boy ARISE and my heart is happy, but sad at the same time. MJ is growing into such a handsome and smart little boy and our mother-son bond is deepening and it's such a sweet new stage of life for me.
I've often heard of the mother-son bonds before, but I couldn't understand or relate, but now I think I'm starting to understand more due to having 2 boys. After seeing MJ as a baby boy, I never really paid attention to is intellect (sort of speaking), it's been interesting to teach him, and to watch him in class, and interact with his peers, it's been able to help me to see that, "Man, he's a big boy!". I know it may sound "weird". But, I guess I've had MJ "locked" into this thought pattern of still being a baby boy, but in all reality, HE'S NOT!
So, as I was looking at him all day yesterday, I began to feel my heart start to let go of "baby boy, MJ" and to prepare my heart to embrace my BIG BOY, MJ. Last night while I was in his bible study class, he didn't seem to be paying attention to me being there (which was cool...I think), but later on as I was putting him in his carseat, he said, "Mommy, I was glad to have you in my class." WOW! That touched my heart and it was then, that I think God opened the door to let me let go of "baby boy MJ" and to began starting to embrace and learn "Big Boy MJ".
Dear Lord, thank You for another WONDERFUL stage You are taking me in my mothering as I'll began to learn how to have a mother-son relationship with MJ. In Your name, Amen.